Caleb has a routine.
He likes it; it’s a very nice routine.
Most of his time is spent at the library, alone, but Nott has joined him today. She isn’t working this weekend and eagerly jumped at the opportunity to read everything about chemistry she could get her hands on. Caleb points her to the correct section and then settles down at a table; this one is bigger than his usual, but both he and Nott like to spread out their things when they work. A few minutes later, she emerges with a precariously-balanced stack of books which she deposits on the table before disappearing back into the stacks. Caleb watches her go with a fond shake of his head.
He loses himself in his current book; this one is historical fantasy, but the concepts the author had created for mixing magic and technology are fascinating. It’s a little too outlandish to ever be practical - sometimes, the rules for magic are bent just a bit too much - but Caleb finds that parts of it could be useful. Across the table, Nott starts furiously scribbling notes on the sheaf of lined paper she’d brought.
Just under an hour later (56 minutes, to be exact), Beauregard begins her rounds of the library. She’s not the head librarian, Caleb doesn’t think, but she is the one he sees most often and, therefore, the one he usually interacts with. When he has to. She is very abrasive, but somehow, Caleb doesn’t dislike her. Perhaps it’s because she is just as much of a nerd as he is, even if she tries to hide it. (She does not hide it very well. After all, she does work at a library.)
It’s almost comical how quickly she does a double-take when she passes by Caleb’s table. Instead of continuing on like she usually does, she detours from her path and leans her elbows against the empty chair to Caleb’s left.
“You sick or something, Widogast?” She asks, peering at him suspiciously like her question truly is (at least somewhat) genuine. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you switch tables since you first started showing up here, like, seven months ago.”
Caleb smiles up at her awkwardly. “Ja, well, my little friend is joining me today, and my usual table is too small for the both of us to work.” He gestures with his book to the table; true to his words, the surface is nearly entirely covered with books, papers, Caleb’s laptop, and scattered pencils and highlighters.
“Friend?” Beauregard asks, almost incredulous.
As if on cue, Nott reappears, squinting at something on her phone.
“Hey, Caleb, can you help me find this book? This says they have it, but—” she looks up and freezes mid-sentence. Caleb blinks at her, then follows her wide-eyed stare to his other side, where Beauregard looks equally as startled. Nott makes a noise somewhere between a cough and a shriek. “ Beau? ”
“ Nott? ” Beauregard asks, far too loud. Someone shushes her; she winces and continues, quieter, “Holy shit, you two know each other?”
“Holy shit, you two know each other!?” Nott parrots, book completely forgotten. “Is my Caleb your Caleb?”
“Holy fuck, your Caleb is my Caleb,” Beauregard breathes. “Oh my gods, that makes so much sense. ”
Caleb frowns at them both. “I thought you knew this.”
“How would we know this!?” Nott whisper-screeches.
At the same time, Beauregard demands, “What the fuck do you mean you thought we knew this?”
“I mean— I kind of thought it was obvious. You sometimes talk about your exy group and there is a goblin named Nott,” Caleb gestures to Beauregard and then to Nott, “and when you tell me about your exy group, you often mention the young woman named Beau. You even sometimes tell me about her Caleb and how similar he is to me. It is not that hard of a conclusion to make.”
“Well, when you say it like that ,” Nott mutters but, a second later, her eyes brighten. Caleb frowns. He knows that look; it’s the one that says she’s plotting trouble and/or something he won’t like - usually both. “But! Now that I know you know two people on the team, you legally have to come to our practices! It’s the law!”
Caleb raises an eyebrow at her, slow and unamused. “Is it, now.”
Beauregard hums. “Yup, that’s true. Trust me, I had a weird obsession with laws when I was a teen. Maybe so I could learn how to get around them easier, but still. Nott’s right, you gotta go.”
“I really do not have any interest in watching people give each other concussions while playing a bastardized version of lacrosse,” he protests, but Nott is already shaking her head.
“Just once, Caleb? Please? If you really hate it, you never have to go again, but we have practice this afternoon and it would be the perfect time for you to go! Please?”
Beauregard punches him gently (by her standards) in the shoulder. “Yeah, man, c’mon. Live a little, it’ll be fun. You don’t even have to play.”
Caleb coughs. “Good, because I do not think I would last for more than a minute.” He looks at Nott’s large, pleading eyes and sighs. This is not a battle he will win. “Fine. But I am bringing my books.”
Nott cheers. “You can leave early and come right back to the library if you super hate it,” she says. “But you’ve at least gotta meet the team, I think you’ll like them.”
Caleb raises his eyebrow higher. “Will I?” He asks flatly, because she has told him stories and most of the team sounds like far too...much for his tastes.
Nott considers it. “Maybe. Probably.” She pulls her phone back out and just like that, the exy conversation is over. “Now. Since both of you know your way around this library ridiculously well, will you help me figure out where this book is?”
+++
At 3:40, Nott’s phone buzzes with her reminder to leave for practice. They pack up their things, collect Beauregard, and are walking to the park by 3:45. The air is humid and heavy; it had rained earlier and Caleb can already imagine how excited Nott is going to be about getting muddy. He shrugs off his coat and drapes it over his messenger bag, flexing his fingers in an attempt to diminish his unease at feeling so exposed.
Nott grabs his hand and pulls him along after Beauregard. He catches her eye and smiles at her, softly. Beauregard glances back and slows, seemingly realizing for the first time how far behind they are.
“Technically, professional exy is played indoors, on a court, but the closest one is a town away, so we just play on one of the soccer fields,” she explains, breaking the almost-quiet. “Plus, it’s nicer to fall on grass than on a court. The soccer teams probably hate us, but they can’t really do anything because the fields aren’t actually theirs .”
Caleb nods. He already knows most of that from Nott, but it is nice of Beauregard to explain.
They don’t talk much on the rest of the walk, but it’s a surprisingly comfortable silence. Beauregard is always in motion, humming something under her breath or fidgeting with the many seemingly handmade bracelets on her wrists. She walks faster than both Caleb and Nott but, once she realizes that they’re trailing behind her (again), she doubles back or bounces in place until they catch up.
It takes a total of seventeen minutes to reach the exy team’s chosen field. There are only two people already there; a tall firbolg with bubblegum-pink hair and a short, blue tiefling. They look almost comical standing next to each other. On the ground beside the tiefling, there’s a large, long, plastic box and an even bigger net bag filled with what looks like exy gear.
“Beau! Nott! You brought a friend!” The tiefling calls as they approach. She kneels to rummage through the net bag, seemingly uncaring about the mud that stains her pristine knee-high socks. “Is he going to play? I’m pretty sure we still have some leftover gear in here from when Bryce played with us that one time. It might be a bit big on him, but—”
“Jes, this is Caleb,” Beauregard interrupts. “He’s just here to watch.”
Jes frowns. “Caleb? Which one, your Caleb or Nott’s Caleb? I suppose I could guess, but I don’t want to be wrong and offend him or anything.”
“About that—” Nott starts.
Caleb clears his throat and holds out his hand. “Ja, hallo, my name is Caleb Widogast. I am both Nott’s Caleb and Beauregard’s Caleb.”
Jes blinks at him for a moment, then grins. She shakes Caleb’s hand with alarming enthusiasm and stands at the same moment, nearly unbalancing him. As soon as she lets him go, Caleb tucks his hand back into the folds of his coat.
Jes points between Beau and Nott. “Wait, your Calebs are the same Caleb? That makes so much sense , oh my gods, how did we not see it sooner?” She turns back to Caleb. “Hi, I’m Jester! It’s nice to meet you finally; Beau and Nott have both told us a lot about you. Nothing bad, of course,” she rushes to assure him at whatever expression must show on his face. She points to the firbolg, who waves. “That is Caduceus, he’s super awesome and very wise.”
To Beauregard and Nott, she adds, “Everyone else will be here soon, except Fjord will be a bit late because his shift went long at the docks and he has the furthest to drive.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Caleb,” Caduceus greets, holding out his hand.
Caleb shakes it, grateful that Caduceus doesn’t hold it longer than necessary.
Caduceus frowns at Jester, Beauregard, and Nott. “I thought you all knew that there was only one Caleb.” Jester shakes her head. “Was it not obvious?”
Caleb hides a smile behind his hand while Beauregard and Nott splutter. Jester huffs and crosses her arms, but she seems more playful than truly annoyed.
“Caduceus, not all of us can be as smart as you all the time! I’m sure we would’ve figured it out eventually,” she pouts.
“It has been months, though,” Caleb points out.
A car door slams in the parking lot behind them before anyone else can argue further. Caleb’s shoulders tense, but he forces himself to relax and turn around when Jester simply waves enthusiastically. She does many things with an almost intimidating amount of enthusiasm, Caleb notes.
The duo walking towards them are just as much of a juxtaposition as Caduceus and Jester. The taller of the two, a woman, is nearly monochrome as she towers over her companion who, in contrast, is almost headache-inducing. Caleb squints at the chaotic mess of patterns and colors and wonders if part of this tiefling’s exy strategy is to blind the opposition before the game can even start.
“Molly, Yasha, guess what!” Jester calls. “Beau and Nott brought their Caleb! It’s not actually two different people, we’re all just dumbasses! Except for Caduceus.”
The tiefling chuckles. “That’s nothing new, then. It does make sense that their Calebs were so similar.” He turns to Caleb with a charming smile and offers his hand. “Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to my friends. It’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.” He gestures grandly to the woman behind him. “That’s Yasha, she’s the charm.”
Yasha waves; now that she’s closer, Caleb can see the tiny blue ribbons braided into her hair. “Hello.”
“Ah, hallo,” Caleb says, blinking and belatedly shaking Mollymauk’s hand. “It is...nice to meet you both.”
“Fjord is going to be late,” Jester repeats to Mollymauk and Yasha. “He’s on his way, though.”
Mollymauk nods. “Shall we warm up without him, then?”
“Race you!” Beauregard shouts, elbowing him in the side and tapping Nott on the head before taking off across the field.
Nott curses at her and follows, Mollymauk hot on her heels. Jester and Yasha exchange a look and then start after the others. Caduceus stays by Caleb, watching them carefully.
“You do not play?” Caleb asks, fiddling with the strap of his bag.
Caduceus shakes his head. “Nah, I’m not so great at the running thing, and that’s kind of an important part of exy. It’s a very violent sport, so I heal them up whenever they injure themselves, which is often.” He gestures to the first aid kit leaning against his leg. “I’m a cleric.”
“Ah,” Caleb says, and then falls silent, because he has no idea how to continue the conversation. Caduceus doesn’t seem to mind.
The others are halfway through their second lap when a truck pulls up beside their cars. A half-orc, presumably Fjord, jumps out.
“Hey, Cad, sorry I’m late,” he says, jogging towards where Caleb and Caduceus are standing. “Who’s this?”
“This is Caleb, Beau and Nott have told us about him,” Caduceus explains. Caleb nods awkwardly at Fjord. “He’s here to watch today’s practice.”
Fjord pauses. “Their Caleb is the same person? That...makes a lot of sense, actually.”
Caleb almost laughs at how similar his reaction is to everyone else’s. Fjord doesn’t offer to shake his hand and though Caleb’s entire upbringing chafes against it, he’s relieved. When the day had started, he had not been prepared to interact with over double the amount of people he normally does.
Excited shouts from across the field draw his attention; apparently, Fjord’s arrival is enough for everyone to abandon their jogging. Everyone sprints back, with Beauregard and Jester in the lead and Yasha trailing behind at a more sedate pace.
“Fjord!”
“Captain Tusktooth!”
“Honda!”
Caleb fights back a smile as Jester and Beauregard reach Fjord at nearly the same time; they tackle him nearly off his feet and he stumbles back, wrapping his arms around them both. Mollymauk joins the hug when he arrives, but Yasha stops a few feet away with a small, fond smile, and Nott hovers between Caleb and the group.
“Did you really miss me that much?” Fjord asks, grinning, as the others slowly release him.
“We haven’t seen you in like two weeks!” Jester exclaims. “Nott’s been getting so bored without anyone to tease!”
“It’s true,” Nott agrees solemnly. Fjord sighs.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve just been a lot busier at the docks ever since Vandren promoted me. I’m glad, of course, but still. Less free time, you know.”
Beauregard hums. “I guess that’s true.” She claps a hand on Fjord’s shoulder. “We started without you; you’ve got a whole lap and a half to catch up on. Let’s go, captain!” She calls over her shoulder, already running again.
Fjord chuckles as he takes off after her and the others slowly group around them. Caleb only catches snippets of the light-hearted jabs they throw at each other between breaths. Nott glances at him over her shoulder; he does his best to smile reassuringly.
“You don’t have to stand the entire time, if you don’t want to,” Caduceus says after a while. He gestures to the small bleachers on one side of the field. “They’re not the most comfortable, but it’s better than standing or sitting on the muddy grass for hours. I’ll go over there once they start the actual practice.”
Caleb nods. “I will set my stuff down there, at least.” Then, after a second, “Thank you.”
His boots squish slightly in the rain-soaked ground as he walks. He sets his messenger bag down on the second level of the bleachers. After a long moment of hesitation, he pulls his coat from under the bag and shrugs it back on. It’s still a bit too warm, but the weight of it is comforting. Besides, it’s not like he’ll be moving enough to create much body heat.
He curls his fingers around the familiar shape of his component pouch inside the large pocket he’d hand-sewn into the left side of the coat. Something in his chest settles. He makes his way back to Caduceus just as the others complete their final lap, their shoes and legs significantly muddier. Mollymauk and Beauregard both have mud painted across their sides and backs; from the way they’re glaring at each other, Caleb is willing to bet that it was not an accident.
Jester bounces over to the net bag and kneels, pulling out helmets and pads that she sets on the grass beside her. Yasha distributes the equipment and then opens the large box to reveal ten exy racquets.
“We all have our own equipment and stuff, but it’s just easier if I take it all because my mama’s place has enough room to store everything,” Jester explains as she straps on her shin guards. “My mama is the Ruby of the Sea, by the way, have you heard of her?”
Caleb blinks and vaguely wonders if it will be offensive if he hasn’t. “Ah, no, I—”
“That’s okay!” Jester chirps. “She’s, like, a super famous singer and performer,” she punctuates that statement with a very exaggerated wink, “you know. A whole bunch of people think that she’s, like, the best lay ever.”
Caleb coughs. “I see.”
“She’s actually pretty great, and I’m not just saying that because she’s super hot,” Beauregard says, sorting through the racquets before pulling out one with a very ratty, blue ribbon tied to the end.
“Ya, she’s the best,” Jester agrees. She pulls an oddly-shaped exy helmet from the bag and bounces to her feet. “Molly and I were kind of wary about playing exy at first because, you know, there’s a lot of slamming into each other in exy—” she giggles, which causes Molly and Nott to start laughing, and then Beauregard joins in, and it takes nearly a minute before Jester can continue, “—and we didn’t want our horns to break or anything! But Nott designed these special helmets and my mama knows someone who got them custom-made for us! And now we don’t have to worry about our horns, just the rest of our body!”
Caleb hums, tilting his head to inspect the helmet as best he can with Jester holding it and gesticulating excitedly. Mollymauk holds out his own helmet and Caleb takes it with an absent almost-smile, running his fingers delicately over the lines and angles.
“I think I helped you with this a bit, didn’t I?” He asks Nott, peering into the inside of the helmet. The padding is thicker around the area for the horns.
“Yeah! Caleb’s really smart, you guys, if it’d been just me, I never would’ve thought of having detachable parts so it’s easier to take on and off,” Nott says. Caleb glances away from the helmet to frown at her.
“Nott the Brave, you are very smart yourself. I helped you very little; a lot of the design process was just you.” Caleb hands the helmet back to Mollymauk. “Thank you for allowing me to look at it.”
Mollymauk grins. “Of course. Anything for you, dear.” He winks and despite himself, Caleb blushes down at the ground.
“Well, alright,” Nott says, doing her best to sound grumpy, but it’s still easy for Caleb to hear the self-satisfied pride in her voice. “But you’re still the brightest person I know, Caleb!”
Caleb coughs, slouching down into his scarf and coat in an attempt to hide his raging blush.
Beauregard clears her throat. “Are we going to play, or what?” Even if it wasn’t purposeful, Caleb is thankful for the distraction.
“Right! Sorry, guys,” Jester says. She starts to bounce towards the field but calls over her shoulder, “If you’re confused about anything, just ask Caduceus! Even though he doesn’t actually play, he’s super knowledgeable about this stuff because he’s watched us play for hours.”
Caleb nods, then belatedly realizes that Jester can’t see it. “Ja, okay.”
He trudges back to the bleachers and sits beside his bag. Caduceus joins him after a few minutes. He settles a few feet away from Caleb and doesn’t seem to be interested in starting a conversation, for which Caleb is thankful.
After a half-hour of watching, Caleb realizes he has no clue what’s going on. The game seems to be Mollymauk, Beauregard, and Nott against Jester, Fjord, and Yasha. Caleb knows that Nott usually plays as a striker - though he’s not entirely certain what that means - and, given her position in the goal, Yasha is probably the goalkeeper. Other than that, he isn’t sure.
He almost asks Caduceus about it, but then Beauregard and Fjord slam into each other with an almighty crash. Caduceus sighs, picks up his first aid kit, and walks out onto the field. By the time he returns, divine light still lingering in the creases of his hands, Caleb has talked himself out of asking.
After a while, he pulls out one of his books and various grunts and shouts from the field become easily-ignorable background noise for nearly forty-five minutes. He doesn’t realize that the team has stopped for a short rest until a hand claps the back of his shoulder, so sudden that he’s halfway through casting Firebolt before he realizes that it’s just Beauregard. She backs off immediately, hands raised.
“Woah, man, sorry. That was my bad, I shouldn’t have startled you.” She sounds wary, out of breath, and almost genuinely apologetic, but not scared.
Now that Caleb is actually looking at her, he can see that she’s drenched in sweat. Her tank-top, which had originally been a loose shirt, is now sticking to her torso in a way that seems like it would be uncomfortable, but she doesn’t seem to care. Her hair, free from the helmet and half-fallen out of its bun, is plastered to her face and neck.
Before Caleb can answer her question, Jester appears behind Beauregard, equally as sweaty. “Woah, Caleb, what was that weird hand motion you did?” She gasps. “Are you a magic-user?”
“I, uh—”
“He is!” Nott chirps, clambering up onto the bleachers beside Caleb. “He’s very powerful, aren’t you, Caleb?”
“I, ah. Ja, I am a magic user, though I would not say I am very powerful.” Caleb chuckles, strained. “There are many people out there that are far more dangerous than I.”
By now, the others are also gathering around, and Caleb wants desperately to shrink away from the sudden spotlight of attention. As it is, he simply tucks his bookmark into his book, sets it down, and stuffs his hands into his pockets.
Fjord, wiping sweat off of his face and neck with a fraying towel, hums curiously. “How long have you been practicing magic?”
The question sends a jolt of discomfort curling through Caleb’s gut, but Fjord’s interest is genuine. Caleb forces an awkward smile onto his face and says, “Oh, you know, I always had a knack for it, as a child. I, ah, I studied the arcana when I was younger, but then I gave it up for a while. I’ve only started practicing it again recently, but, uh. It is all book-learned.”
It’s not the truth, but it’s close enough to reality that none of them should pick up on a lie. Nott knows more than what he just said, but even she is unaware of the whole story.
“That’s very impressive,” Fjord says, voice heavy with interest and amazement. Caleb flushes and looks away. “I’ve always wanted to learn magic, but I never really thought I could do it until—” he clears his throat and holds his hand up. Teal energy flares to life in his palm, like the cresting of a wave, before Fjord closes his fist and it disappears. “—that happened. It’s all still new to me, and Cad and Jester have been helping me figure shit out, but. I don’t know.” He rubs a hand through his undercut, then makes a face and wipes the sweat on his equally-sweaty shirt. “It’d be nice to have another opinion, y’know?”
Caleb hums, embarrassment forgotten in favor of analyzing the brief view of Fjord’s magic he’d gotten. “Ja, that is...I have not read much about the sources of magic beyond that of sorcery or study; I would be interested to learn more. Jester and Caduceus are casters, as well?”
Fjord nods. “Yeah, Caduceus follows the Wildmother and Jester—”
Jester gasps suddenly. “Ooh, Caleb, have you heard of the Traveller?”
Caleb blinks. “Ah, no, I have not. Is that your god?”
“Ya! He is only the coolest god ever . I think you would really like him.”
Caleb is skeptical about that last statement, but he nods nonetheless. Beauregard clears her throat.
“Jester is kind of the leader of a cult, but—”
“It is not a cult! The Traveller is a real god, you guys!”
“Yeah, of course,” Fjord agrees placatingly. “Anyway, Jester and Caduceus both practice divine magic. Molly...I don’t know what he does, exactly. It’s weird. And Nott knows some magic, too, but I’m sure you already knew that.”
Caleb nods. “Ja, I taught her some. She is a very bright student.”
“He’s a very good teacher!” Nott interjects.
Caleb chuckles awkwardly and ruffles her hair, grimacing slightly at the sweat, and then turns to Mollymauk. “Weird how?”
Mollymauk grins. “Oh, you know.” He gestures to the scars littering his body. “I bleed and weird shit happens. Yasha knows magic, too,” he adds. Caleb frowns but lets him have the out, though his thoughts are swirling.
Blood magic: interesting, old, and very dangerous.
“It is not...magic, really,” Yasha mutters, shifting awkwardly. “I can’t do it very often, and I don’t know how I can do it. I just...can.”
“Do you—”
Beauregard cuts his question off with a groan. “Alright, you nerds can finish your conversation later, I want to get some more practice in before we lose daylight.” She nudges Fjord in the side with the butt of her racquet. “Let’s go, Captain! We’re gonna beat their asses.” She looks very pointedly at Nott as she says it, a challenging glint in her eye.
“Fuck you, no you’re not!” Nott screeches, grabbing her racquet and scrambling of the bleachers after Beauregard and Fjord.
She takes a place by the goal, on the opposite side of where she’d started last game, and Fjord takes her spot old beside Beau. Caleb frowns, watching as the rest of them return to their original positions.
“Fjord and Nott have switched places?” He says to Caduceus, more of a question than a statement.
Caduceus doesn’t seem concerned. “Mm, yeah, Nott has mentioned wanting to learn how to play defensively. Fjord is a dealer, but in these small games, he’s been only playing defense because we usually don’t have enough backliners. I think this is a good way for both him and Nott to get practice in something they’re not used to.”
Caleb nods slowly. “That makes sense.”
Nott, it turns out, is a very good backliner. Caleb has very little knowledge about exy and sports in general, but even he can tell that, unpracticed as she is, she is a terror on the defensive line. By the end of the practice, Mollymauk, Beauregard, and Fjord are all spitting curses and insults at her. In contrast, she and Jester are cackling wildly, and even Yasha has cracked a smile.
“Told you so, fuckers!” Nott crows as they all trail off the field.
She yelps when Jester picks her up, but all she does is set Nott on her shoulders. Nott grins, gleefully vicious, and pokes at Fjord’s head with her racquet. He swats her away halfheartedly, trying to catch his breath.
As soon as they get close enough, Nott leaps off of Jester’s shoulders and barely pauses when she lands before she goes sprinting towards Caleb.
“Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, did you see that, did you see that?! I kicked Fjord’s ass!” She says the last part louder on purpose; her smile grows impossibly wider when Fjord curses at her.
Caleb chuckles. “I did, it was very impressive. I do not know much about sports, but I think you were meant for the defensive position, ja?”
Some of her enthusiasm dims, slightly. “I mean. Yeah, I guess I’m pretty good at it and it’s really fun, but— I dunno, I like being a striker, too!”
“You are very good at it, Nott the Brave, do not lie to yourself. And besides, you do not need to choose between the two positions, do you? If you are good at both, then you can play as whatever the team needs you to be, or whatever you would like to do that day, ja?”
Nott blinks. “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, Caleb!”
She presses a kiss to his cheek and then darts off back to the others, doing her best to unstrap her gear while holding both her racquet and helmet. Caleb watches her go for a moment, not bothering to fight his fond smile, and then begins tucking his book and notes back into his messenger bag.
He’s just getting ready to stand when Jester calls, “ Cay leb, you and Nott are coming to dinner with us, right?”
He blinks. His social battery is already running low for today, but Nott is watching him with a hopeful, tentative half-smile.
“Oh, uh, ja. I don’t see why not.”
Jester cheers. “We’re going to stop by my house to shower and stuff, first, so we’re not super stinky, but then we are going to go get pizza! I think Bryce said that they’re working tonight, right?” She aims the last question at the others; Mollymauk and Beauregard nod.
“Okay. That sounds good,” Caleb says, coming to a stop awkwardly at the edge of the group.
“You and Nott can ride with me,” Fjord says, pushing himself to his feet with a grunt. Caduceus pats him on the shoulder with a faint burst of divine light. “Thanks, Cad.”
“Fjord’s truck smells like fish ,” Jester says conspiratorially. Nott fake-gags.
Caleb blinks. “Oh. Uh, ja, that is fine. Thank you, Fjord.”
Fjord nods. “Anytime.”
+++
Caleb manages to grab a seat at the end of the long table - technically two smaller ones pushed together - the group commandeers in the left half of the Alfield Pizzeria. The main server, Bryce, takes this in stride with what seems like both exasperation and fondness. Apparently, the group has been here enough that Bryce doesn’t even take their food order; when they return with everyone’s drinks, they simply promise that “the usual” will be out soon.
Caleb loses track of the group’s conversation within five minutes. He looks down, wondering if it would be rude to pull out a book (and then asking himself if he cares). Before he can do anything, Jester suddenly gasps and leans towards him, completely ignoring the fact that she almost squishes Beauregard and Fjord in the process.
“Caleb! Now that you’re part of the group, we’ve gotta add you to the group chat!”
Jester reaches out a hand, wiggling her fingers back and forth. Caleb blinks between her hand and her face and frowns.
“I am a part of the group?” He asks.
Jester rolls her eyes. “Well, duh . Here, gimme your phone, I’ll add all of our numbers.”
“ Don’t give her your phone, she’ll rearrange all your apps and rename your contacts,” Beauregard warns. “Give it to Fjord, he’s responsible.” Fjord makes a face, somewhere between agreement and slight skepticism.
“O...kay,” Caleb says slowly. He hesitantly digs his phone out of his pocket and hands it to Fjord, ignoring Jester’s pouting. “I am not sure I will text all of you very much, but okay.”
Fjord pulls out his own phone and sets it on the table, looking between it and Caleb’s phone as he adds numbers. “I’m texting Jester so that she can add you to the group chat.”
“Ja, that is fine.”
“What is your last name, Caleb?” Jester asks.
Caleb blinks. “Oh. It is, ah, Widogast. W-i-d-o-g-a-s-t.”
Jester grins. “Ooh, that’s so cool.”
“Ah, thank you?” He hadn’t meant it to be, when he’d chosen it.
“Here,” Fjord interrupts, sliding Caleb’s phone back to him.
Caleb blinks down at the six new contacts:
Jester Lavorre
Fjord
Beauregard Lionett
Mollymauk Tealeaf
Yasha Nydoorin
Caduceus Clay
He frowns at Fjord’s name, then up at Fjord himself. “No last name?” He asks, more out of curiosity than judgment, but Fjord tenses up nonetheless.
“Ah. Nope.” He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably.
Caleb studies him for a few seconds longer before he looks away, turning his phone off and tucking it back into his pocket. “Okay.”
The rest of the dinner is, surprisingly, not terrible. Everyone is very loud, of course, but it is not as awful as Caleb had been— expecting. Fjord drives him and Nott back to their apartment afterward. As soon as the door closes behind them, Nott looks up at him with wide eyes. She’s trying not to let it show, but her fingers are worrying at the button bracelet around her wrist.
“I know everyone can be a bit much, sometimes - well, all of the time - but—”
Caleb interrupts her with a gentle smile. “They are very loud, ja, but...I don’t know, I like them. I would not be opposed to going to more of your practices. Or to— hanging out with them, more.”
Nott brightens immediately. “Really?”
Caleb chuckles and ruffles her hair. “Really.”
Exy, it turns out, is a lot more interesting when magic is involved.
The third time Caleb goes to one of the group’s practices, he’s halfway through a book on the prospects of sharing magic when he hears shouts, louder than normal, from the field. Caduceus sighs.
“Oh, not again.”
Caleb looks up, one hand reaching for his component pouch. He doesn’t expect to see Fjord with jagged spikes of brown-blue ice curling off of his chest and shoulder pads. His arms are spread, almost like he’s daring the strikers to come towards the goal, and he looks like he’s barely holding back laughter.
“Come on, then, Beau. Don’t be a coward.”
Jester quickly muffles a snort behind her gloved hand. Mollymauk takes no such caution; he yelps when Beauregard swings out blindly with her racquet, barely missing his chest.
She growls, glaring at Fjord as she tries to scrape ice fragments off of her arm guards and shirt. “Fuck you, asshole, you know magic isn’t allowed in exy!”
“Since when have we listened to the rules, though?” Nott points out.
She wiggles her fingers in the air and a shimmering, barely-visible, arcane hand drifts off of her own. It picks up the ball lying abandoned on the field and tosses it in the air.
“Go-get-his-ass-regard!”
Caleb exhales sharply through his teeth, fighting a smile.
Beauregard groans but still manages to catch the ball in her racquet before taking off full-sprint at Fjord. He lowers his arms and adjusts his stance, smile widening. Caleb expects Beauregard to feint around him at the last moment, but she keeps going until they’re less than a foot apart. A dangerous grin spreads across her face and she elbows Fjord right in the junction between his chest pads. He stiffens and groans; the rest of his ice armor shatters onto Beauregard, but she just takes it with gritted teeth and steps around Fjord.
“Fuck you!” She crows, passing the ball over Fjord’s head to Mollymauk, who has to jump to catch it.
He’s nearly bowled over by Jester as he lands, but he manages to dodge out of the way and goes sprinting towards the goal. Jester scrambles after him; Fjord is still frozen, his curses muffled behind his clenched teeth.
Caleb can just barely make out, “Fuck you, Beau!”
Yasha watches the approaching strikers impassively. She twirls her racquet in one hand and squares her stance.
“We are doing it that way, then,” she observes.
She rolls her shoulders back and grins. Two skeletal, shadowed wings burst from her back; they flare out, passing straight through the netting of the goal. The white tips of her hair bleed black. Mollymauk freezes, footsteps stuttering.
“Oh, come on, Yasha!”
“Sorry, Molly.” Yasha does not sound very sorry.
“For fuck’s sake!” Beauregard doubles back a bit. “Molly, throw me the fucking ball.”
“Yep, of course!”
Mollymauk’s voice shakes, ever so slightly, and his throw goes wide because he keeps glancing back at Yasha. Beauregard lunges and barely manages to catch it. As soon as the ball is in the air, Mollymauk turns and sprints back down the field until he’s a good thirty-five feet from the goal.
“Nott, back me up, here!” Beauregard shouts.
She begins sprinting back towards the goal. Yasha readies herself.
Fjord unfreezes. “Fuck!”
He stumbles forward, clumsy but quick, and Beauregard has just released the ball when he slams full-force into her back. They both go tumbling to the ground. The ball soars towards the goal, low but still on target.
Yasha’s racquet slams to the ground in front of it, as fast as lightning. It bounces off and eventually rolls to a stop in the grass by Jester’s feet.
“That was a good try, Beau,” she says, leaning down to offer Beauregard a hand up. “Do better next time, though.”
Beauregard groans and allows Yasha to pull her to her feet. “Shit. That was a good block.” She winces and rounds on Fjord. “What the fuck, man?”
“You stunned me!”
“You used your freaky ice armor! That shit hurts! ”
“I didn’t even do it at full power!”
“They always do this,” Caduceus grumbles under his breath, loud enough for only Caleb to hear.
He stands and walks onto the field. “Beau, Fjord, apologize to each other. Yasha, apologize to Molly. Maybe we should take a breather.”
He pats Beauregard and Fjord on their shoulders and begins leading them back to the bleachers. Warm, divine light radiants from both his palms.
Beauregard rolls her eyes, even as ice fades from her skin. “I’m sorry I punched you,” she says to Fjord. “I’m not sorry about the stunning strike, though.”
“Yeah, that’s fair. Sorry I Armor of Agathys-ed your ass.” Fjord grins. “You know, you could’ve avoided that second blast if you hadn’t punched me.”
“Yeah, well.” Beauregard shrugs off Caduceus’s hand. “You deserved it.”
“I mean, probably,” Fjord agrees.
Mollymauk begins to trudge off the field as well. He makes a diagonal towards Yasha, whose wings have faded. Her hair returns to its normal ombre. Caleb has so many questions. Mollymauk wraps an arm around Yasha’s waist and she rests her arm on his shoulders.
“Sorry about that,” she says. “I just...wanted to even the playing field, you know?”
Mollymauk grins up at her. “You’re forgiven, dear.”
Jester picks the ball up and tosses it to Nott, who tries to catch it with her Mage Hand. The magic dissolves just before the ball reaches it. Before Nott can move, the ball smacks right into her helmet. She yelps, more surprised than hurt. Jester rushes forward.
“Oh no, Nott! I’m sorry, I thought you were going to catch it! Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Nott leans down to pick up the ball. “I forgot that my Mage Hand only lasts for a minute. That would’ve been awesome, though!”
“It would’ve! You would’ve looked so cool!”
Caleb sets his book aside and stands, meeting the others at the bottom of the bleachers.
“How often do you use magic during your games?” He asks; it’s only the first of the many questions crowding his tongue.
“Well...” Jester starts, pulling off her helmet and flopping into the grass. Nott sits on the bleachers above her. “ Technically , you’re not supposed to use magic in exy, technically. But this isn’t an actual game and we don’t always pay attention to the rules, sooo. We just try not to do it too often because it stresses Caduceus out.”
Caduceus hums. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d do the same thing if I was playing, especially if you were my siblings, but since I’m not and you’re not, it just adds another injury for me to worry about, as your cleric.”
“I’m a cleric, too!” Jester protests.
Nott snorts. “Yeah, but how often do you actually use healing spells? Do you even have any prepared today?”
“Yes! Wait.” There’s a long pause as Jester thinks. “Yes, I do! I have Healing Word prepared.”
“What about Cure Wounds?”
Another pause. Jester claps a hand over her mouth, barely stifling her giggles. Nott groans.
“You don’t have Cure Wounds? That’s, like, the main cleric spell!”
“Yeah, but Caduceus has it, so why do I need it?”
“What if he runs out of magic?! What happens then?”
Jester pouts. “I use Healing Word on you. It’s better than nothing!”
“That’s true,” Nott concedes. “But still —”
“I don’t think I’ll run out of healing spells,” Caduceus interrupts gently. “You all get injured often, but not that often.”
Caleb clears his throat. “I see,” he says. “I will...keep that in mind.”
Nott looks at him, a knowing twinkle in her eye. “What are you planning, Caleb?”
He shrugs, allowing his lips to curl into a half-smile. “What makes you think I am planning anything?”
+++
The practice is dragging into its second hour when Caleb has an idea. He had, unfortunately, finished his book sooner than anticipated and is getting tired of watching them go through the same couple of drills over and over. It’s not that he doesn’t understand the reason for it - he does ; practice makes perfect is a lesson that has been drilled so deep into him that he likely won’t ever forget it - but everyone else looks bored, too. At least, that’s what he tells himself.
Carefully, he pulls a licorice root from his component pouch and stands. Caduceus catches his eye as he walks closer to the field to get within range.
“Don’t do anything too dangerous,” he warns.
“Of course,” Caleb agrees. “I would not want to make your life more stressful than it already is.”
Caduceus smiles. “That’s kind of you,” he says, completely genuine.
Caleb turns away with a hesitant half-smile.
“Beauregard,” he calls, scraping his nail across the licorice root before tracing his fingers through the air.
“Yeah?” There’s a startled pause as golden-amber magic curls around her legs and seeps into her skin, and then, “What the fuck did you just do to me?”
“Try the drill again,” Caleb suggests.
Beauregard squints at him suspiciously before shrugging. Her legs are a blur as she weaves between the cones and Yasha barely has enough time to raise her racquet before Beauregard is aiming the ball. It soars over Yasha’s racquet, missing it by inches, and impacts harmlessly into the net. Beauregard laughs, breathless and giddy.
“Holy shit, that was awesome. ”
“It only lasts for a minute, and then you will feel very fatigued for a few seconds, so use it wisely,” Caleb warns.
“What is it?” Jester asks. “That was so cool, Beau!”
Beauregard grins; it is hard to tell beneath her helmet, but Caleb is pretty sure that she’s blushing. “Thanks. It felt cool.”
“I told you guys he was good at magic!” Nott crows.
“That was very impressive,” Fjord agrees. He’s standing off to the side with his helmet under his arm, so there is no way to miss the blatant admiration on his face.
Caleb coughs. “It is simple transmutation, really. The spell is called Haste; essentially, it makes you faster and harder to hit.”
Beauregard laughs. “Holy shit, that would be so useful in a game.”
“Ja, it would be. I can always recast it if you would like to try.”
Beauregard spins to him. “Wait, really?” He nods. “Holy shit. Do it.”
Caleb blinks and drops the spell. Beauregard sags, swaying on her feet before Yasha steps forward to steady her. The fatigue only lasts for a few seconds, as promised, and Beauregard groans when she straightens back up.
“ Fuck. Give a little warning next time, man!”
“My apologies.” Caleb raises the licorice root. “You would like to try the spell in a game, ja?”
Beauregard brightens immediately. “I mean, yeah .”
+++
“You are playing backliner today, ja?” Caleb asks Nott as they shuffle around each other in the kitchen, preparing for the day.
“Yep, I think so. Pass me a bowl?”
Caleb reaches up into the cabinet and pulls down a chipped and well-loved bowl they’d found at a secondhand store. Nott nearly fills it with cereal and then reaches for the milk.
“Why?”
Caleb fiddles with his component pouch where it sits securely in the pocket of his sweatpants. His coat is draped over the back of the couch.
“Oh, you know. I am just thinking.” Nott makes a face at him over her shoulder as she puts the milk back in the fridge, so he elaborates, “How would you like to fuck with Beauregard, Fjord, and Mollymauk?”
As expected, a grin spreads across Nott’s face immediately at the suggestion. “Would I ever. ”
“Well, I can help you with that—”
“You’re not gonna tell me how, are you?”
Caleb smiles. “You will just have to wait and see, my friend.”
Nott groans, exaggerated and over-dramatic. Caleb reaches over to ruffle her hair. She bats him away, nearly spilling her cereal on herself, and Caleb chuckles as she curses good-naturedly at him.
+++
“You’re plotting something, aren’t you?” Caduceus asks as the others start their warm-up jog. Caleb glances at him, not as surprised as he would be if Caduceus was anyone else.
“It will not be too damaging to the players,” he assures. “I do not think.”
Caduceus grins. “Heh. I trust you, Mister Caleb. As long as it’s nothing more than what they already do to themselves.”
Something curls in Caleb’s chest, warm and vaguely uncomfortable, but he does his best to smile past it. “Of course. I would not want to hurt them permanently.”
“I know.” Caduceus pats him gently on the shoulder. “Plot away.”
Caleb waits until the second half of practice to put his idea into action. Caduceus just smiles at him when he stands, iron shavings dusted across his fingertips.
“Nott the Brave!” He calls, walking towards the field.
He flicks his fingers and the iron sifts off of his fingers, changing into golden-orange sparks that rush across the field and adhere to Nott’s body. He spreads his hands through the air; as he does, she grows to nearly double her height - taller than Jester and Mollymauk, but only at eye-level with Beauregard.
“Fuck yes!” She cheers. “Come at me now, assholes!”
Beauregard exchanges a look with Mollymauk and Fjord. “Gods damn it, Caleb!”
Despite this, she still starts charging across the field, easily catching the ball when Fjord throws it to her. She dodges around Jester and passes it to Mollymauk.
“Ah, fuck,” he says, realizing that he’s the one against Enlarged-Nott, who cackles.
No matter how hard he tries to dodge, Mollymauk still ends up getting body-slammed by Nott. The ball goes flying from his racquet, but Fjord manages to grab it before Jester can. He sprints around Mollymauk, barely avoiding Nott, and throws the ball back to Beau. Jester knocks her out of the way before she can catch it; the ball rolls harmlessly across the grass and stops a good three feet from the goal. At the same moment, Nott slams into Fjord’s back and they both go toppling to the ground.
“Fuck!” Fjord pushes Nott away with some effort and stands. “I didn’t have the ball, Nott!”
“So?”
“So you’re not supposed to check someone if they don’t have the ball!”
“I didn’t know you had thrown it!” Nott defends poorly. She scrambles to her feet and, though her back is to Caleb, he can imagine the face she makes upon realizing she still barely reaches Fjord's chest. “Fuck!”
“Oh, unfortunate,” Fjord says.
Jester comes jogging up. “Nott, you’re so tall!”
Just like that, the argument with Fjord is forgotten. “I’m taller than you!”
“You are!” Jester tilts her head. “Man, this is weird.”
A few seconds later, Nott’s form shrinks back down and she and Jester both sigh. “Dang it!”
“I can cast it again, if you would like,” Caleb calls. “It only lasts for a minute, though, and I can only redo it so many times.”
Nott hesitates. “No, it’s fine,” she decides, albeit reluctantly. “That was awesome, Caleb! I was so big!” She spins to Fjord. “I kicked your ass!”
“Okay—” Fjord starts.
“She did, though,” Mollymauk points out. “Kicked my ass, too.”
“That’s true!” Jester agrees brightly.
Fjord sighs.
“I like it better when your magic is on my side,” Beauregard grumbles.
Caleb raises an eyebrow at her. “Okay.”
He brushes more iron dust across his fingers and repeats the spell, but this time he squishes his hands inward. Beauregard shrinks to half her size, barely as tall as Nott. Mollymauk cackles.
“Holy shit, this is the best day of my life,” he gasps. Beauregard whacks him across the shins with her racquet. “You’re so weak , oh my gods!”
“Fuck you, Molly! And you, Caleb!”
Fjord pats Beauregard on the head, ignoring the slap he gets, and looks at Caleb. “That’s incredible.”
Caleb blushes. “It is really not, there are much better and more powerful spells out there.”
“Yeah, maybe, but it’s amazing that you can do this,” Fjord argues. “Plus, I like this version of it a lot.”
“She is very cute,” Yasha agrees.
Fjord pokes at Beauregard again. She goes to slap him back before getting thoroughly distracted by Yasha’s statement. Caleb snorts.
“She is going to kill me when the spell wears off,” he notes mildly.
Fjord grins. “Yeah, probably.”
“I could kill you right now, asshole!” Beauregard protests, looking away from Yasha.
“And that is my cue,” Caleb decides, unashamedly high-tailing it back to the bleachers.
Halfway there, he feels the spell fizzle out and Beauregard’s cursing suddenly gets much louder. Caduceus raises an eyebrow at him as he clambers back to his seat.
“That was good,” he says. “I wish I knew a spell like that so I could use it on my siblings. I imagine they’d appreciate it just as much as Beau did.” Caleb snorts.
[THE MIGHTY NEIN]
[court jester]:
GUYS
[court jester]:
[sent an image]
[court jester]:
we’re doing it right???
[court jester]:
i mean, we gotta
Caleb taps the picture. It’s an advertisement for some sort of exy competition held in the Victory Pit, one of the biggest non-college exy stadiums in the state. There will be a series of exy games over the course of the day; competing teams from around the state are randomized into a bracket. Whoever wins gets the chance to play with the Foxes - Caleb has never heard of them, but apparently they’re the state’s college exy team.
[pop pop]: wait isn’t that the team that’s connected to the mob or some shit
[FLUFFERNUTTER]:
hold on, i’m sorry
[FLUFFERNUTTER]:
they WHAT
[FLUFFERNUTTER]:
i knew they were kind of fucked up but ???
[pop pop]:
yeah, like last year, there was this whole media scandal thing
[pop pop]:
have you guys ever heard of the Butcher of Baltimore?
[I am your god]: what did I just open my phone to
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: no??
[pop pop]: okay hold on
Caleb frowns.
[Widogast]: I do not know who these Foxes are, can someone tell me?
[seaman]: they’re the college exy team that’s infamous for being Fucked Up
[court jester]:
apparently their coach only recruits players from shitty backgrounds and until like last year the team didnt rlly get along
[court jester]:
their last season was REALLY dramatic
[Widogast]: That both cleared things up and raised more questions, thank you
[court jester]: of course!!
[pop pop]:
okay here [link]
[pop pop]:
tw for scars/graphic injuries
[pop pop]:
if you google them you’ll get a shit ton more info everything that went down but i’m not sure how much is rumors and how much actually happened
[pop pop]:
i think the fbi was involved
Caleb raises an eyebrow and clicks on the link. The first thing he sees is the headline: “FRESHMAN FOX PLAYER FOUND TORTURED IN BASEMENT OF MOB BOSS”.
[seaman]:
oh fuck
[seaman]:
that’s.
[pop pop]:
yeah
[pop pop]:
and that’s only ONE of the things that happened to them last year
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: that poor kid
Caleb scrolls down, skimming the article - a lot of it is just filler with very little concrete information - until he gets to the images. He taps them to remove the news outlet’s censoring. His vision catches on the scars first; a chill claws up his spine and his fingers tighten around his phone. The burns are easily recognizable. Both those and the knife slashes are cleverly placed on the kid’s arm for optimal pain with little chance of accidentally causing him to bleed out. The cuts and burns on the kid’s face seem less strategic but just as painful. Caleb would have—
He shudders, closes the app, and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. Almost five minutes pass, each second counted carefully, before the tightness in his chest loosens. With slightly shaking fingers, he picks his phone back up.
[I am your god]: that is incredibly fucked up
[pop pop]:
yeah no shit, Dairon was pissed
[pop pop]:
anyway. that’s what i meant by “aren’t they connected to the mob”
[pop pop]:
didn’t mean to derail the conversation, sorry Jes
[court jester]: no its fine!!
Caleb swallows down the bitterness on his tongue.
[Widogast]: Do you know how he is doing?
[pop pop]:
who? the kid?
[pop pop]:
as far as i’m aware, he recovered pretty well. the foxes won their championship game against the ravens
[seaman]: wasn’t there drama at that, too? Didn’t someone’s arm get broken or something?
[pop pop]: yup
[seaman]: jesus
[I am your god]:
not to derail this totally great and very not depressing conversation, but back to jester’s original question
[I am your god]:
I think we should do it
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: same
[court jester]: fjord? beau? yasha?
[pop pop]: yeah, why the hell not?
[seaman]: sure
[Caddy]: I just read back through everything. I think it would be fun
[I am your god]: Yasha’s phone is dead rn but she says she’ll do it if we do
[court jester]:
yes!!
[court jester]:
we should recruit a few more people first tho
[court jester]:
wait, caleb, are you fine with us joining??
Caleb blinks. Slower than usual, careful of his still-trembling fingers, he types a response.
[Widogast]: It is your team, but ja, I will support you if you do
[court jester]: ur a part of the team too!!
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: you’re on the team too, caleb!
[Widogast]:
Oh
[Widogast]:
You should do it
[court jester]:
yay!!!
[court jester]:
we should start recruiting other people soon so we can all practice together before the actual competition
[I am your god]: we’ve got like two and a half months
[court jester]: ya but how often do u think we’re gonna actually practice
[I am your god]: good point. I call not it on talking to Essek, he’s a bitch
[pop pop]: so are you
[I am your god]: fuck you
[court jester]: i will talk to essek!! he likes me
[I am your god]:
you’re correct but fuck you
[I am your god]:
everyone likes you, Jester
[pop pop]: everyone likes you
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: HA
[pop pop]: FUCK
[court jester]:
okay okay okay
[court jester]:
im making a new chat for the extended team
[court jester] changed [THE MIGHTY NEIN] to [THE MIGHTY NEIN EXCLUSIVE]
+++
[court jester]
created
[THE MIGHTY NEIN]
[court jester]
added
[seaman]
,
[I am your god]
,
[Caddy]
,
[FLUFFERNUTTER]
,
[Widogast]
,
[Yasha]
,
[pop pop]
,
[hot boi]
,
[deserves better]
,
[keg (of beer)]
,
[Cali(fornia)]
, and
[literal angel]
to
[THE MIGHTY NEIN]
Caleb mutes the chat.
[court jester]: okay okay okay guys @hot boi @deserves better @keg (of beer) @Cali(fornia) @literal angel
[court jester]: [sent an image]
[court jester]: are you free to do this with us?? bc we need more players probably
[hot boi]:
I do not know who half of these people are.
[hot boi]:
Also, last time I played exy with you, it ended very badly.
[pop pop]:
okay, i wouldn’t say it ““ended badly””
[pop pop]:
cad healed you
[hot boi]: You twisted my ankle.
[pop pop]: it got better
[court jester]:
ANYWAY
[court jester]:
hi essek!! im sorry about ur ankle but beau is right it did get better like 2 seconds later
[hot boi]: Hello, Jester.
[court jester]: @Widogast is caleb, hes a super cool and powerful wizard just like you
Caleb glances over when his phone lights up with a notification. He reads Jester’s message and raises an eyebrow, slightly bemused, before turning his phone back off.
[court jester]: @deserves better is bryce, theyre super cool and make really good pizza
[court jester]: @keg (of beer) is keg, shes also super cool, i think she and beau fucked
[pop pop]: okay,
[court jester]: @literal angel is reani, shes amazing and makes rlly good cupcakes, i think she and beau also fucked
[pop pop]: OKAY,
[I am your god]: I did not need to know that
[hot boi]: That is. Not exactly the information I was looking for.
[seaman]: jester, maybe don’t introduce people with That
[court jester]:
ok sorry guys
[court jester]:
and
@Cali(fornia)
is calianna, shes my super awesome pen pal!!
[pop pop]: it’s fine Jes
[keg (of beer)]:
no yeah beau and i totally fucked
[keg (of beer)]:
my phone is suddenly blowing up, what the hell is going on?
[court jester]:
see!! its fine
[court jester]:
we r joining an exy competition thats in like 3 months do u wanna be on our team
[keg (of beer)]: i mean. sure, why not?
[hot boi]: How often would we practice?
[literal angel]:
hi guys!!
[literal angel]:
I’d love to join!!
[court jester]: uh idk like once or twice a week?? maybe more??
[court jester]: hi reani!!!
[court jester]: @Caddy @Widogast @deserves better u guys are like. smart and good at scheduling and stuff right
Caleb sighs as his phone lights up again for the second time in less than five minutes. He doesn’t bother to try and read the missed messages, simply scrolls up until he has context for Jester’s question. He’s not sure why she’s asking him, seeing as he isn’t even on the team, but he does his best to respond logically.
[Widogast]:
How good are you right now, how much do you want to improve, and how good do you think the other teams will be? I do not know much about sports but I would recommend at least two practices a week and alter that depending on those three questions
[Widogast]:
Perhaps start with one practice on the weekend and one during the week?
[court jester]: ok thanks caleb!! ur the best, u can go back to ignoring us now :)
[Widogast]: I was not ignoring you
Caleb sets his phone back down and returns to his book. From the other side of the living room, Nott snorts.
“You’re totally ignoring them, Caleb.”
“Mm.” He scribbles a note on the paper beside him. “They do not have to know that.”
[FLUFFERNUTTER]:
he is totally ignoring us
[FLUFFERNUTTER]:
he’s reading right now though so it’s actually kind of surprising that he answered!! but maybe try not to bother him much more right now
[court jester]: of course!! tell him im sorry
[hot boi]:
That schedule sounds reasonable.
[hot boi]:
I may regret this later, but I will join the team for this competition.
[court jester]: yay!!
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: he says it’s fine
[court jester]: ok thats good!!
[court jester]: @Cali(fornia) @deserves better what about you guys?? can u join??
[pop pop]: isn’t Cali like all the way across the country though?
[court jester]: she says she was coming back for a few months like next week!! did i not tell u guys that??
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: you didn’t
[pop pop]: nope
[court jester]:
oh oops
[court jester]:
she’s visiting for a few months
[pop pop]: nice
+++
[THE MIGHTY NEIN]
[Cali(fornia)]: I am indeed coming back soon! Sorry I did not reply earlier
[court jester]: thats ok!!
[Cali(fornia)]:
but ya I am visiting over my summer break, so I would love to join the team!!
[Cali(fornia)]:
also I have gifts!! Not for everyone though sadly bc I do not know who all of you are
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: oh??
[court jester]: ooh yay!! i have something for u too!!
[Caddy]: it’ll be nice to see you again, Miss Calianna
[Cali(fornia)]: you too, mister clay!!
+++
[THE MIGHTY NEIN]
[deserves better]:
Can somebody please tell me why I have almost 100 messages
[deserves better]:
And why I’ve been tagged five times
[count jester]: BRYCE!!!
[pop pop]: heyy, bryce
[I am your god]: bryce!!
[deserves better]: That did not answer my question, but hello everyone
[seaman]:
[sent an image]
[seaman]:
are you interested in joining our team for this? Practices will probably be at least twice a week
[pop pop]: once during the week and once on the weekend was what Caleb suggested
[deserves better]:
oh
[deserves better]:
I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that, I’m sorry
[deserves better]:
Between the pizzeria and volunteer work, you know
[court jester]: awww :((
[I am your god]:
that’s okay, darling
[I am your god]:
we’ll miss you
[court jester]:
thats ok bryce!!
[court jester]:
u should still come to the competition if u can!! im sure we will play much better if u r there to cheer us on
[deserves better]:
You are both very charming
[deserves better]:
I’ll see what I can do
[court jester]: yes!!
[deserves better]:
In the meantime, though, I’m going to leave this chat, seeing as I’m not on the team
[deserves better]:
Don’t do anything too stupid
[court jester]: you are on the team in spirit!!
[I am your god]: we would never
[seaman]: you should know us better than that
[deserves better] left [THE MIGHTY NEIN]
[court jester]:
we’ll try!!
[court jester]:
aw :(
+++
Caleb is just getting ready for bed when his phone buzzes.
[Yasha Nydoorin]:
i have over 250 notifications, what happened
[Yasha Nydoorin]:
is there a new group chat or am i imagining things
[Yasha Nydoorin]:
molly won’t tell me. he thinks he is very funny but i have not slept in two days
[Yasha Nydoorin]:
i think he and beau and caduceus are getting high together. that could also be why none of his texts make sense
[Caleb Widogast]: There is a new group chat. Jester made it for the extended team because of the competition. Mollymauk told you about that, ja?
[Yasha Nydoorin]:
he did. thank you, caleb
[Yasha Nydoorin]:
i am going to go pass out now. please tell frumpkin i love him
[Caleb Widogast]: Of course
+++
[THE MIGHTY NEIN]
[pop pop]:
GUYS??
[pop pop]:
VOX MACHINA IS IN THE COMPETITION??? WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THIS OR WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO SEE IT ON THEIR INSTAGRAM PAGE
[pop pop]:
we’re so fucked
Caleb blinks. It’s nearing 3 am, so he was not expecting to see Beauregard panicking when he opened the chat. Granted, he is also awake, so he cannot really judge.
[I am your god]: oh FUCK
He is not that surprised that Mollymauk is awake, either.
[Widogast]: I do not know who these people are
[I am your god]:
only THE best non-professional or collegiate team in the state
[I am your god]:
oh, we’re so fucked
[Widogast]: Ah
[hot boi]: That does greatly decrease our chances of winning, yes.
[pop pop]:
what are you doing awake at 3 am? and you, Caleb
[pop pop]:
i mean, i know why i’m up and Molly doesn’t have a sleep schedule, but aren’t you two like. functioning adults?
Caleb snorts.
[Widogast]: Some of us have insomnia, Beauregard
[hot boi]: Have you never heard of insomnia?
[I am your god]: qutywiueyuiyiuwqegwqjeqwe get fucked beau
[pop pop]:
fuck off molly
[pop pop]:
gods you two have never met irl how are you SO similar
[pop pop]:
i’m going to sleep
+++
[THE MIGHTY NEIN]
[FLUFFERNUTTER]:
i just caught up on last night’s messages
[FLUFFERNUTTER]:
we’re FUCKED lmao
[court jester]:
why?
[court jester]:
ah shit
[Caddy]: you might have some chance
[FLUFFERNUTTER]: “MIGHT”
[pop pop]:
“SOME”
[pop pop]:
the only way we can win is if one of them gets injured, cad
[Caddy]: that’s a possibility
[seaman]: that’s so fucking ominous, caduceus